i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I need a hoe opinion
go on
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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