At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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