just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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