I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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