we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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