it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
