I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
