Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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