I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
