why didn't you poke me back
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
