toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
