On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
