Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
