Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize