No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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