we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
