Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
