I want to stick my p in your. b.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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