bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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