ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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