What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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