Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
it was like eating out sand paper
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
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He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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