I never want to see another naked old woman again.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
