i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
