i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
