it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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