i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
