Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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