you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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