are you still at the devil's house?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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