you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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