Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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