Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
