When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
