its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
