There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
