How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
