I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
