I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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