Pappa wants mamma naked
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
