I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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