first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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