The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
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Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
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This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.