Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now