Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.

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(406): View more from Montana

i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.

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(303): View more from Colorado

dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?

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(914): View more from New York

THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.

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