my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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