Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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