I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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