I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
