A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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