her vagine was all disorganized.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
