i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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