Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
