Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
be right there i have to get my cape
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
