there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
