I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
