sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
This toilet bowl is my home.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
