I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
