Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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