He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
