Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
