end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
