Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
And then he peed in my hair
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