just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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